Change Your Name

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble” (Psalm 90:14-15, NIV).

For many, many years I suffered.

With ill health.

With no possibility of boys to date (oh the horror, seriously).

So many years I cried out to God, wondering “where is he?” and “Does he even exist?”

Of course, I knew better. On September 20, 1998 God told me that I would NOT be lacking a mate. His Spirit would make all come true (Isaiah 34:16).

This world told me a long time ago to give up.

Have sex.

Go all the way.

Find a guy. Heck, multiple guys and just go crazy.

But I held strong.

I did not give in.

I kept reading the Word.

It is through my desire and devotion to the Word of God that He has changed me and given me a new name. I married Mr. Fisher on Oct. 15, 2011 and forever became a “fisher” of men.

It is my desire as a new bride to show my devotion to my husband and more importantly to the Lord, why it is important to intentionally follow Jesus.

To be His disciple.

But I’m warning you because some days are going to just plain suck. You’re going to want to give up hope.

Trust me.

I’ve been there. FOR YEARS.

It wasn’t until I read in my quiet time tonight in my One Year Bible that I realized it was exactly two years ago TODAY that I left my job at Outreach Events. Moved home to be with my parents AGAIN. I never felt more like a miserable failure than I did those two years ago. Even though my first book was going to be published soon, I was a wreck.

I was afraid to let go. Let God expose me for everything I was. To show His strength through my weakness. My anxiety made me a stronger person because God instantly became glorified.

It became less of who I was and who my ministry was and who God was and His mighty power in my life.

That is why I decided to THROW MOUNTAINS.

To carry my life as a burden to the 20-somethings because somebody’s gotta do it–and God was calling me specifically to lay down my life and take a giant leap of faith.

So I leaped.

And I cried.

And I had terrible panic attacks.

“So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 1:8-9, NLT).

It wasn’t until two years ago that I learned what SHAME meant. I was ashamed of who I was. God was ashamed of who I wasn’t.

Never tell God who you are because He just might change your name!

Oh and God–thanks for making the past two years up to me on the sweetest day of the year. You rock. Please give everyone else the strength to continue on…to YOUR hopes and dreams for them (which are FAR beyond what we could ever ask, imagine, or hope for!)

[Picture is taken of my first glance of Marc in my wedding dress]

 

13 comments on “Change Your Name”

  1. I think I kinda need to hear this. I’ve been feeling a lot of shame lately: shame about how I’m not more of a man, how I let my depression f*** up my relationship with Amy, etc. Maybe my problem is I’m telling God who I am instead of letting Him change my name. “Go away, God! I’m supposed to be a self-destructive person! I’m supposed to end up like Kurt Cobain! Don’t you understand that?”

    Maybe I should change my name to Israel, ’cause I’ve been hitting the mat with God a lot lately.

  2. renee says:

    Travis-you know…do you remember my video on You Tube on “Your Secret Name?” You should rewatch it and be encouraged!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EovT-0zHVNQ

  3. Jason says:

    I’m so glad your wedding day was beyond expectations and how God’s poured blessing upon you. Beautiful photo.

  4. Dawn Wilson says:

    I love your post, love you, and know I’ll love Marc. I’m so glad to see how God has blended your two life-passions together into one powerful ministry. (Like your new format/design here). [PS ~ I am laughing, because I wrote about our “secret name” for an upcoming post. Didn’t realize you had, too. The same thing happened with Bill F. and I … God must be giving people the same messages!]
    Blessings on you and your marriage.

  5. renee says:

    @Jason – Thank you! How was the move? How are you?

    @Dawn – Aww yes, thank you. I love you too. I just LOVE it when God puts the same message on the hearts of others so you know it’s grounded in His Word!

  6. What a wonderful new name. God is so good! Trust you and Marc are doing fabulous. Site looks great. Love to you both!

  7. renee says:

    Thanks Arlene. 🙂

  8. Pam Farrel says:

    Congrats to a super power couple for God! All our best to you both! Love the new website and applause on the new “brand line” — so perfect for you and your new life as a wife and leader!
    Hugs

  9. Lori says:

    Congratulations, Renee! I am very happy for you. Your good friend, Summer, just told me about your blog. My whole blog is to encourage younger women to love their husbands. I had 23 of a very bad marriage, but the past 8 have been amazing. I finally found out how to be the wife God wants me to be so I want to share it with anyone that will listen! I have mentored many women the past 8 years and it has been such a blessing teaching God’s ways. May God richly bless your marriage.

    Blessings,
    Lori

  10. renee says:

    Thanks Pam, you’re an amazing mentor and I’m so excited to see what God has in store for both of us!

    @Lori – I’ve heard so much about you and look forward to getting to know you!

  11. Marcia says:

    Congratulations Renee! I think you are the most excited bride I know!!! The best is yet to come, too!

  12. Love this post, love your new tag line. I remember the day you quit at Outreach and moved home. That was a huge faith step. God is a promise-keeper! Love ya…
    Sooz

  13. @Marcia – This is probably true!!! Thanks and I believe you!

    @Susan – Thanks so much for your kind words and for remembering. I love you too Sooz!

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