Support vs Competition #onmyheart


Hardship Competition

First of all, I know that God always takes care of me. He always will. I know I’ll always be okay. (And He’ll always take care of you, for that matter!) But there are times in life when the going just gets tough. I’m starting a new series #onmyheart for those times when my (or guest posters!) hearts are heavy and we just need to let it out – writing is definitely very cathartic for me. 

Also, a little disclaimer…this may come across a little whiny. 

As you probably know, I had my first baby in 2015. On New Year’s 2016, me, my husband and baby Oliver moved to Italy. We rented out our condo in the U.S. It was hard to get moved! I thought everything would be a lot easier once we got to Italy, but I was sorely wrong.

I’m actually really glad I didn’t know how tough things would be. Living internationally, every single task seems to be so much more difficult and takes so much more time. Like going to the doctor, for example. Getting my son into the right doctor was a whole process. Everything is just really harder. Some of this stuff I’m sure will get easier over time.

When people ask how I’m adjusting, I say I’m fine because it’s the truth. There’s nothing really wrong. Everything is fine…just a lot harder to accomplish.

Now, that I have that out, the second point of the post…

It is hard enough for me to share this kind of thing with people. Most people don’t know stuff our family has had to go through. I don’t care. I value our privacy. But when I share about something we went through in order to encourage someone else, or if I am sharing just because everyone is sharing…

Why must we make hardship a competition?

Do you know what I mean? When someone has to one-up you with their experience and how much worse it was in comparison to yours.

Why do we feel the need to do that instead of just supporting each other? Maybe this doesn’t happen to you a lot, but I’ve experienced it (or watched it happen) so much recently, whether it’s in real life or on social media.

It’s just the worst feeling when you open up to someone and they shut you down like that. I can totally understand where some people are coming from when they tell you their stories that relate to your experience.

But with some people it’s hurtful when they go on to say, “my experience was so much worse” or “oh, you have no idea.”

I guess I don’t have any idea what you’ve been through, but you don’t have any idea what I’ve been through either! Please don’t try to put me or my experience down. What is the point?

Consider this a request from li’l ol’ me: Can we just respect and appreciate that everyone has a unique situation? Let’s support each other, not compete.