On Depression: Everything Is Not Okay

everything is not okay

[Guest Post by Hannah Kingsley] – I have been through periods of life where every day has been characterized by some kind of anxiety.

Sometimes it could be seen on the surface.

And sometimes my anxiety brewed more dangerously beneath the surface.

As a predominantly “happy” person, bouts of depression cause a conflict in my soul between the need to be authentic about my struggles and the desire to maintain a cheerful exterior.

It can make asking for help all that much more difficult. 

It is easy to assume that the happy, cheerful, strong person has no need of assistance and suffers no lows–but nothing could be further from the truth.

During one particular low, I felt as if my footing had literally been ripped out from under me.

A series of negative events plunged me farther and farther into depression, each event seeming to follow after the other like a train of dominoes. From that place, what I wanted most was for others to recognize that everything is not okay–even if I could not always communicate how badly I felt.

“The Lord will take care of me… the Lord will take care of me… the Lord will take care of me..”

Some of my journal entries included God’s promises written over and over, as if their repetition would seal their truth in my soul. Even if their truth sometimes seemed to be undermined by fear, anxiety, and nightmares–I desired God’s Word to conquer the cynicism that had seeped into my soul in the form of depression.

One thing that I have learned through depression is that it is important to recognize that sadness and weakness can be justified.

There is a myth of the happy Christian who never experiences any misfortune, but it just isn’t true. 

What is true is that God really and truly would never allow us to experience sadness and misfortune without a greater purpose that can ultimately benefit us if we draw closer to Him.  It can seem counter-intuitive, but His love is really that great.

God cannot renege on his faithfulness, even if our circumstances seem to speak otherwise.

It is then important not to attribute to God the negative characteristics of those that hurt us or the bad events that we have experienced.

If others lie to us, it doesn’t mean God will lie to us.

If others injure us, it does not mean God desires to harm us. 

No matter what the negative voice speaks to our minds during depression, none of it can be from God if it conflicts with His character that desires good for and through us.

Depression is still something that follows at my heels.

Yet what I have received in return for the pain is something that I would never want to give up: greater compassion, empathy and understanding toward others, and closeness to God that I might have less of if I had not had to walk beside him through the lows.

The thing that has sustained me when nothing else would is the truth of His promises, even if I had to write them over and over before I began to believe them.

Are you willing to take Him at His word?

hannah kingsleyHannah Kingsley is a 21 year old college student thankful for the empathy that God has given her out of bad experiences.  She is currently majoring in International Studies and Registered Nursing, and has a love for people of every nation and their beautiful languages.  She blogs at herspacioussoul.com.

[Photo: madeline.p, Flickr]

4 comments on “On Depression: Everything Is Not Okay”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your honest sharing and the knowledge of grace of God!

  2. Justin says:

    Well, I may not be 17 anymore, but I do know what it’s like to have setrss, depression and anxiety hit you all at once, and I do know how hard it can be. I also do not want any medication.All these things run in my family and sadly enough, most of them have become dependent on the medication. I have promised myself that I would never let that happen to me.Sometimes I break out into these horrible moods one minute, the next I’m crying my eyes out, and the next I just want to be left alone. That is no way for any person to live. You need support from loved ones to help out a little. We all need some help sometimes and the first step at helping depression in wanting to get better. I have chosen away to help myself, but I also ask others around me to be patient with me, it is a long process. I have been dealing with this in my life for years now, but slowly it is getting better.I realize this is a long answer, but I know a lot about this topic, and it saddens me to know that too many people suffer from this illness. In some cases, people need medication due to the chemical imbalance. Some just need learn that they have the power to overcome this. That is what I’m choosing to do, and so far I’m getting there.You are 17 years old and life can get better or much much worse. Always think to yourself, you are much greater then the setrss, the pain, and the worries that you deal with everyday. School can be tough on people, but always know you can only do so much to please people. Try pleasing yourself, worry about yourself.Take one day at a time and just know that the horrible day will not last forever, and try not to bring your worries to the next days, that is the past and there is nothing you can do to change that.

Comments are closed.