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Can you talk about marriage?
[Guest Post by Emily Miller] – Our pastor asked my now-husband and I an important question at our first premarital counseling session. “When did you first start to talk about marriage?” And, we answered honestly, we really hadn’t talked about marriage in the two years we had dated until Joel gave me a ring. Not unless you count the time he asked, hypothetically and completely without context, how many kids I wanted to have someday. Or the time he asked, generally, what kind of “jewelry” I liked. Of course, we hadn’t talked about dating until after we had been friends more than a year and he snuck his hand across…
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Sex and Money
[Guest Post by Jennifer Kephart] – I have heard it said that the two biggest things that married couples fight about are sex and money. I believe and know this to be true, and I think it is because so much of our identity and self-worth are wrapped up in these two areas of our lives. So many times when we meet someone new, we ask them, “what do you do?” Money can be such a touchy subject, but how then how are we just supposed to make it work? In my experience, I find that there are 3 primary areas where money issues can arise: 1) Not budgeting together…
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Afraid of Marriage
There are many reasons to be afraid of marriage. Thanks to Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, we will never forget the title of “Runaway Bride.” The movie follows Julia who freaks out in epic fashion and ditches the groom. Three different times she runs away from her wedding. Enter Richard Gere. He plays the journalist who covers her fourth wedding. There is something about his presence that forces Julia to reconcile her fear of marriage. Obviously the “Hollywood” ending is perfect, and they end up together–but it’s the process I found fascinating. So I have a question for you. What about marriage are you most afraid of? Recently, I received…
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Can you talk about sex?
If you’re a Christian, can you talk about sex while you’re dating or thinking about getting engaged? No, seriously I want to know. I wrote in Not Another Dating Book, “We dare to dream of the day when that guy or girl is going to walk into the room and change our lives forever. But what happens when he or she does? What if those feelings of unworthiness…don’t go away?” This time last year, Marc and I were getting pretty serious. I knew the long exciting road that was ahead of me. We would probably get engaged and soon. There would be ring shopping dates. Talks of buying a house.…
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Fifty Shades of Virginity
[Guest post by Arleen Spenceley] – In the twenty miles between my house and my office, there are at least six strip clubs. As I write this, ‘Magic Mike’ – a movie about a male stripper – has been in theaters a week and has grossed an estimated $63,322,000. Fifty Shades of Grey is novel about a woman who gives her virginity to a guy whose version of sex is violent and demeaning. It is now a New York Times bestseller. All this is to say I was not surprised that when my own grandmother learned that I am a virgin, her eyes were wide and her surprise obvious when she fumbled for the words: “You are?” It’s…
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Pre Engagement Questions Series
During the month of July I will be doing a series on Pre Engagement Questions before popping the question. I will be highlighting a few guest posts, book giveaways, and 5 key questions to ask before getting engaged. This time last year, Marc and I were thinking about getting engaged. We spent much time discussing these are six areas. We purposefully wanted to ask all our questions BEFORE we got engaged. Plus, after you get engaged–all you think about is planning a wedding. We heard how potentially stressful wedding planning could be. Instead of discussing important matters over designing invite cards at my parents house–we decided to intentionally talk about…
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Same Sex Friendships
I bet I wasn’t like you growing up. I was taught not to become friends with boys. Boys had kudies and could get you pregnant just by looking at you. Gross. I developed an unhealthy fear of boys at a very young age that stuck with me until college. Even then I was always cautious. To this day, I can still hear my parents yelling “10 inch rule! 10 inch rule!” Don’t lead him on. So I didn’t. Don’t let him get too close. So I didn’t. But when it came to girls, no rules applied. I could have late night phone conversations, sleep overs, and hang out pretty much…
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True Friendship
Sometimes the most holy and true act of friendship is to give up our rights. Everybody wants to be King David. Nobody wants to be Jonathan. David didn’t manipulate Jonathan for an easy way in or deceive him for the biggest seat in the house. Why? Jon was his friend. David endured shame, ran for his life, and stole scraps for food to survive. He never once took revenge on Saul or his friend Jon to become king. Everybody wants to be king. Nobody wants to suffer. Jon had it made. He was [already] royalty. He lived a life of luxury in the palace. Why did he give it all…
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Friends With Girls
[Guest post by Andrea Marbach] – I know the feeling of being friends with girls and being left out in a conversation. The feeling of being less important and ignored. Being single is all I know. I have never been on a real date. Never been asked out for drinks. Never been kissed. I’m almost 25 years old. Growing up in a Christian household did not protect me from some really bad, life changing things that happened to me when I was a child. For many years, I struggled with self-confidence. At the age of 22, I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror and like what…
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Intentional Friendship
[Guest Post by Julianna] – Friendship is the mother of all relationships; ironically. Without friendship, the human race cannot thrive. We could survive, sure, but we wouldn’t be living at our full capacity. We wouldn’t be tapping into who we really are: Created beings in the image of a relational God. Now with that, let me say I am a bad friend. Or at least that’s what my sweet husband tried to tell me. We were watching a video series on marriage and that evening’s topic was on friendship. The pastor said that friendship is the foundation of all healthy relationships. Different types of friendships will go to different levels…
