When the Writing Won’t Flow

[editor’s note: I wrote this piece immediately prior to “My Doubtful Voice.” I guess my strategy was helpful! Writing that was so cathartic for me and I felt so at peace afterwards. I felt stronger in my decision to move to Italy, and just less stressed about it in general.]

For some time I’ve felt a responsibility to myself and Devotional Diva readers to share more. I wanted to write about how “crazy” my life has been lately, and all the things I’m learning along the way. Having a baby, renting out our home and moving internationally during the holiday season has been quite the educational and heart-opening experience.

I have learned a lot, and I would like to be able to share those lessons. Since the goal of Devotional Diva is truly to share your story and spur other women forward, I really wanted to use my experiences for good!

But when I try to sit down and write, the words just won’t flow. My writing feels clunky. My voice doesn’t feel as clear. When I read back what I manage to put on the page, I’m disappointed in myself. It’s like I’m doing a disservice to the topic of the post.

I wondered if it was due to my tiredness, or my stress level.

2015 was an incredibly exhausting and stressful year. Obviously a new baby will cause exhaustion, but becoming a parent has been very stressful for me, too. Throw in all the other changes and preparations throughout the year, and I have not felt like myself.

I told myself to give writing a break for awhile.

But I still feel like I have so much to say. I feel like I have words that want to come out, but they just won’t. At least, not in a way that sounds good after it’s written.

I do think that God has given me this platform for a reason. Sharing my story on Devotional Diva and helping other women out there is really important to me.

If I can come up with sentences that make sense in my head, why can’t I put them on the page? Do they legitimately sound sub-par, or am I somehow being overly critical?

Am I now out of practice? Is that the problem? Did my purposeful “break” from writing actually sabotage it instead?

I still don’t know, but my plan now is to at least try to write.

Just…try.

No more “well this is clearly not working.” I don’t want to lose these feelings and these thoughts. They could still be something great! I’ll just get something down on the page and if it really does suck, I’ll fix it later. What I’m writing right now doesn’t sound too too bad…

My new strategy: onward!