I hope you’ve been enjoying our first “fall” stories. I wanted to hop in here with a short one of my own. If you follow my Instagram or Facebook, you know I’m kinda going through a lot. But, I’m okay. That’s what I keep saying. To myself, to others. I’m okay.
It’s mostly military life – and I know it seems like I’m always giving military life updates and craziness surrounding that. But there’s more to this I swear!
We are moving later this month back to San Diego! I’m super excited, but at the moment we are having trouble finding somewhere to live, and it’s a long story that involves us still owning a San Diego home, COVID and short term rentals. It’s a privileged kind of stress so I hate to complain about it. I honestly feel like going back to San Diego is a gift from god but not being able to move back into my home right away is just sad for me. I prayed so long and hard for that very thing and it is inches away. But, finding a short term rental that will work for us will be a blessing, and we will be okay.
My husband is currently on a mini deployment as I’m calling it, literally right up until we move. And as the little joke goes in military circles, everything breaks on deployment. And it did. Sure enough on the two hottest days of the year (in a row) we lost power. During that whole debacle I was scrolling Instagram and saw the best Bible verse:
Be still and know that I am god.
It instantly calmed me down! We were okay.
It has been hard being apart from my husband again, like we were so much when we were stationed in Italy. It hurts my heart for my kids to go through this. We will have more little mini deployments coming up soon too. It’s hard to know that this isn’t even something that has an ending. It’s going to go on for months with hello’s and goodbyes, and I hate it. But that’s our season of military life. It’s okay.
I also have a growing breast lump and thankfully was able to get it checked out before we leave Washington. It’s another thing that is okay! I need to keep an eye on it, but like me, for now it is okay.
Am I doing great through all this? No, I’m pretty stressed. It’s a lot. But I’m okay. I’ve worked hard to make everything okay. I go on walks with my friends and enjoy special moments and activities with my daughter. I talk to friends and family when I need to vent. I email my husband on the ship like diary entries to tell him about mundane stuff just to make my life feel more normal. I’m not suffering or wallowing in my stress like maybe I would have done years ago. I’m doing my best to be okay, and I truly do feel okay. And I’m not ashamed I don’t feel better than that.