I had already started thinking about getting a new car. The Holy Spirit had already warned and told me, “It’s time to get a new car.” But to be honest, I was frugal and it wasn’t quite an emergency…..yet. But Sadie (my car) was on her last leg and I knew it. I already had to pray every summer morning for the air conditioner to work so that I wouldn’t be a sweaty mess by the time I got to work or home for the night. In the recent previous year’s Sadie had already lost the ability to keep the left signal on during a turn, lock her doors, and the right front window could go down but not back up.
I named my inner critic Leah. I resonated with Leah’s story of choosing to praise God for her son Judah instead of believing the outcome of her circumstances that she was an unloved wife. This violent act of praise became a game changer for Leah and her son. Her story helped me embrace the whole of me and walk in a newfound freedom. Talk about a game changer for me as well.
The Wintertons in Venice! I know some of you really like my travel posts…I almost didn’t share Venice because it was a quick trip we did a few weeks ago, but then I thought, “WHY NOT?” I haven’t done a travel post in awhile! Venice was one of the best, most beautiful places we’ve been to.
My friends, GIVING is one of those sensitive topics that rubs many Christians the wrong way. I know this because I was one of those Christians. Over the course of time, the Lord ministered to me that there is wisdom in giving and using our resources to propagate the work of God. The starting point is giving our lives to Jesus (John 3:16), which provides us with a simple, but irrevocably true, message of the Gospel.
When I realized my marriage was over, I questioned everything that I ever believed about God. I questioned His goodness, I questioned His love and I wondered how a good God could allow something so devastating to happen. Days, months and even years of unexpected emotion would resurface and I would fall down on my knees to ask God why. God hates divorce, so then He must hate me, right? Then it hit me, God wasn’t trying to scold me, push me into submission, or teach me a lesson… He was actually showing me His love and goodness.
I use to be that girl in the corner afraid to speak up, to let her voice be heard, to be seen. I use to be the girl that didn’t know just how beautiful she was, I was that shy girl…you know that girl that you easily pass by. I was afraid of revealing my hidden beauty.
All at once it reminded me of Jesus. How in every difficult circumstance I’ve ever faced, He has shown His love, grace, compassion, and mercy, gently guiding me through dry and barren seasons. Proving his faithfulness by supplying all my needs, and showing me new hope in the mornings after nights of worry and fear. It reminded me of the truth that He is my Rock in the hard place.
When he followed God’s instructions to show me the love of the Father, he never would have dreamed that I would one day be a daughter to him, as much as any flesh and blood could be. I didn’t get a father through my mom remarrying, as I hoped. In ways beyond my wildest imagination God gave me a Dad.
$100 and Counting
This time I made sure the shower and music were on when I began to sob. I did not want my son to hear me from outside the bathroom since his room was right next door. As I stood directly under the shower head I cried, cried, and cried some more. I was tired, exhausted and at my wit’s end. All of the bills were overdue and I was already robbing Peter to pay Paul. Unfortunately, Peter was broke now too.
We all have one. That one friend that we kind of hate. Don’t get me wrong we love her as a sister in Christ, but we hate how perfect her life is. Everything from her children to her home, her car, her hair, her nails, everything about her is perfect.