Archive - Daily Devotionals RSS Feed

Permission To Transition Part II

March 27, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, Dating & Relationships with 7 Comments

Sometimes, you need to give yourself permission for peace. 

I’m letting you know right now this post is going to rock your world. I may get vulgar and you might not like it.

But that’s what we do when we transition. Isn’t it?

We get rude.

In your face.

At first we think it’s our right. We were the ones wronged.

What happens when that apology we’re waiting for never comes?

I can’t tell you how frustrated life’s challenges have been in my life to the point where I refused to stay silent–and I’m the one who got burned. What the?

#1. Like that time my former coworker tried to force himself on me and didn’t stop when I said no–and I’m the one who got in trouble at work for reporting him.
#2. Like that time my roommates were so messy that I paid double rent just to move out immediately–and I had to leave the church we all attended because it was so awkward.
#3. Like that time my coworker acted inappropriately towards our boss at a Christian company–and I quit my job and moved back in with my parents.
#4. Like that time my guy friend acted like he liked me and then started dating someone else–the only girl I confided in about him.

One of my favorite movies is “The Wedding Date.” Debra Messing’s character is told that she has the exact love life she wants. Her face says it all. “You THINK I want to be this unhappy and miserable?” Well, yeah!

That taught me a lesson or two.

Just because I felt in the right, didn’t give me permission to give others the middle finger. That is when I needed peace the most.

“There will be times when we have to defend ourselves. When those times occur, let’s be sure we don’t confuse our job description with God’s job description. He is the consuming fire; we are not” (One Year Alone with God, Ava Pennington).

Going back to #1. After I quit my job God brought me into a place of abundance. Because that experience was so humiliating I ended up writing again. I started blogging. Most of the pages to Faithbook of Jesus, my first book, were from those few years of asking God where the heck was he was.

Going back to #2. God restored my relationships, although not to the point where they were–but it gave me permission to find a roommate that suited my needs at the moment. I wrote Faithbook of Jesus there, and I couldn’t have done it without my roommate.

Going back to #3. I am only responsible for my actions. I am only responsible for my actions. It took me months of therapy, disability classes, and anxiety meds for me to see that I was the one in error. God wanted me at that moment in time to leave room for faith and start writing full time as my ministry.

Going back to #4. I am not proud of how I handled that situation at all. It was the first time that I had the guts to give someone piece of my mind–to their faces. Still, I felt awful for my actions. After I apologized and calmed down, God used their prayers to bring the most amazing man into my life almost immediately–my husband.

Often times when God wants to transition our lives is when we’re most vulnerable to attacks of the enemy.

Satan knows how to push our buttons.

He knows our weaknesses.

God is patient and waits for us.

If you’re in the middle of transition and struggling with playing the blame game, here is a chart to keep you on the right path for peace.

Common Signs of Bitterness

1. Gossip and Slander. “See to it that no one comes short to the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled…” (Hebrews 12:15-17)

2. Ungrateful and Complaining. “Do all things without grumbling or disputing…” (Philippians 2:14)

3. Judges Motives. “Therefore do not go on passing judgement before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God.” (1 Corinthians 4:5, emphasis added)

4. Self-Centered. “…do not merely look out for your own personal interests…” (Philippians 2:4)

5. Excessive Sorrow. “But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart” (John 16:6)

6. Vengeful. “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone…Never take your own personal revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God…” (Romans 12:17, 19)

7. Brooding. “Love does not take into account a wrong suffered” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

8. Loss of Joy. “And I shall delight in Thy commandments which I love” (Psalm 119:47).

9. A Critical, Judgmental Attitude. “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). (Taken from The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace)

The next time you find yourself in a rough transition remember there is always room for peace.

Read Permission to Transition, Part I.

[Picture taken by Nathan Colwell]

Permission To Transition

March 26, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, The Church with 9 Comments

Sometimes, you need to give yourself permission to transition.

Why?

Because no one else can do it for you.

This past week has been the most amazing spiritual high ever and I feel I may never come down. It’s not an emotional high, but the benefits of walking obediently.

Two weeks ago, I wrote a confession. That I was going to take the rest of the year off from traveling, speaking, and writing my next book.

It’s so weird. Since then God has blessed me even more that I can hardly stand it!

I can’t help but rejoice that the Lord reigns in my life–and I pray yours as well. Those feelings of depression and despair are leaving because the King of King’s has arrived. Here are a few highlights of my week:

1. Reunited with a friend whom I hadn’t seen in years. God used her mightily in my life many years ago to show me that my writing would one day bring people to Christ! Her friendship has given me the permission to transition once again.

2. Attended The Voice of the Martyrs Regional Conference Bound With Them. The voices of those who are and were persecuted have echoed in my heart since that I find myself waking out of the sleep that is American Christianity.

3. Marc and I visited a new church the past two weeks called The Gathering Place. The  pastor preached on Exodus 33-34, which was the passage of Scripture God used to reveal to me two weeks ago that I should take the rest of the year off.

Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?” (Exodus 33:15-16)

When we don’t have His Presence, we have nothing to separate us from anyone else or every other religion.

Confirmation after confirmation this week showed me one thing:

Give yourself permission to transition

When I met with my former friend, I wasn’t expecting her to be in the same spot I was a few years ago when I quit my job. I wanted nothing more than to encourage her to keep going, and yet I realized that God has new things in store for me too–even now as I rest in Him (Isaiah 43:19)!

Transition Doesn’t Always Equal Bad Changes

God has continually been surprising me with new realities.

Transition brings change, yes.

But it’s not always bad.

For instance, after I quit my job Harvest House picked up Not Another Dating Book, and I met my husband Marc. Hello? Sometimes, it’s all I can do to keep up with His Spirit (Amen?). I think the place where I’m at is the best life is and is going to get.

But it’s not.

God has more.

More of His presence.

More of His blessings.

Today, I am giving you the permission to transition. The kind of permission I was waiting so desperately when I quit my job. You might not have someone telling you what to do or that it’s all going to work out–but actually, you do. His name is Jesus and He is waiting for you to come to Him.

Friend, if you are in the midst of a job, relationship, or transition of any kind–I encourage you to check out the promises of God.

Cling to them.

Hold fast.

Hope is real, and He will not let you go even for a second.

If you find anything lingering in your heart squash it for the idol that it is. Smash anything that sets itself up between you and God. Go with God.

Here is something I read this week that changed my life–and I hope it changes yours.

“Recently I heard someone say, ‘God has given me a heart to pastor a church.’ What he meant was he had a desire to become a pastor. Certainly, to pastor a church is a good desire. As I walked away, I prayed that someday God will grant him the ‘desire of his heart‘ (Psalms 37:4). However, his desire to pastor is only as good as his willingness to wait on God’s timing…If he is not content to wait on God, if he is miserable and sins as a result, then his heart’s desire is not set on the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. Instead, his desire has become an idol (Ezekiel 14:1-11) or a lust (1 John 2:15-17; 5:21)” (The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, page 59).

Watch my video log below and leave room for faith.

God Said, He Said

March 19, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, Dating & Relationships with 3 Comments

God said: “Speak to that rock.”

He said: “[Struck] the rock twice with his staff.”

What’s wrong with this picture? Sounds to me God and Moses were saying two different things.

I was reading Numbers 20 in my One-Year Bible this week, and couldn’t help but see a familiar picture.

God says one thing; we do another.

Or he (or she) says one thing, and we say (or do) another.

It Starts With A Problem (Doesn’t it always?)

“Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron” (Numbers 20:2, NIV).

No matter how perfect we think our relationships are, give others the benefit of the doubt, or claim to be perfect–we come face to face with problems.

This world is not perfect.

Moses served imperfect people striving to follow a perfect God. They came upon no water, and once again the people grumbled against Moses and the Lord.

Moses was used to accusations; just like you and I are.

His leadership was questioned; just like yours and mine are.

Moses and Aaron humbled themselves. They fell “facedown” before the Lord. After spending time before the Lord, God gave Moses simple instructions: speak to the rock. God had told Moses to strike the rock before (Exodus 17:6). This time, for whatever reason, things were different.

Moses leaves God’s presence and perfectly obeys God’s command. Nope.

He goes, but instead of obeying the word of the Lord in full, he partially obeys. He strikes the rock twice instead of speaking to it.

This may sound like a game of God said-he said, but there is Truth for our relationships.

Moses knew better; as do we.

God may have been testing His listening ears. Sometimes, we are so used to old habits that we have no idea our disobedience to God is affecting others from honoring His holiness because of our sin. Wow.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said in his book Life Together, “Alone you stood before God when he called you; alone you had to answer that call; alone you had to struggle and pray; and alone you will die and give an account to God.”

Moses brought dishonor to God and also sealed his own fate. He is further cut off from bringing the Israelites into the Promise Land (Numbers 20:12).

Charles Ringma prays for us, “Lord, grant that I may ever have the courage to face You and the challenges of life. Help me not to hide or rationalize and not to see personal security above the doing of Your will. Amen.”

 

My Confession

March 12, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, On Writing with 7 Comments

If conviction follows intention, then confession must follow both.

This is my confession.

Before I chicken out; I am taking the rest of the year off from speaking and writing my fourth book.

The past few years I have been furiously working, writing, researching, and speaking towards 20-somethings.

This girl needs a break.

I finished the work, the race, and I sped my little heart out.

My third book is done, minus edits.

My second book is launched.

Now it’s time to rest and wait on God to show me His glory.

Exodus 33:3, NIV84 says, “Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.”

I refuse to go anywhere without God. The blessings of the Lord are not enough. His presence alone is worth more to me than the calf. I have made my blessings into an idol and for that, I confess.

Everything I write and speak must be from personal conviction. My intentions are not good enough. I must leave room for faith.

Hebrews 11:1, NIV84 says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

The guest pastor at North Coast Calvary last night said, “Religion is not just memorizing it and doing your best.” I want the thrill of sin to repel me. I refuse to go anywhere unless God goes with me.

This is not an emotional high.

This is about me instantly obeying the voice and command of God to remain intentional.

I wouldn’t have written Faithbook of Jesus, Not Another Dating Book, and especially not my third book without intense years of suffering in prayer for God to restore me so I could publish His deeds across the nations.

With that said, I find myself overcoming self–to once again be led by God. I’m excited to honor two words for the year, “Remain” and “Intentional.” My blogs will still continue, but other than that who knows. God?

To view this week’s video log, click here.

Your Relationship Status

March 6, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, Dating & Relationships with 4 Comments

[Guest post] – And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches. (1 Corinthians 7:17 MSG)

People mean well.

Really, they do.

But honestly, sometimes the things that they say, despite their well-meaning intentions, remain lodged in our minds for a very long time.

My parents have never once poked or prodded me in conversation about my lack of marriage. They’ve never joked around about wanting grandchildren to my brothers and their wives either. (And for the record, we’re not an intense or super-serious family, nor are we distant from each other. In fact, we’re very close.)

I didn’t realize what an anomaly this was until recently. I used to laugh at my friends whose mothers were always trying to fix them up. They never knew who their mother was talking to in the grocery store about them, or what “family dinner” would turn out to include some old friends and their eligible twenty something son who just “happened” to be home from grad school for the weekend.

I never really thought there was any harm in it.

It was all well intentioned.

Their mothers just wanted them to have the best life possible.

But now that I’ve watched my friends a little while longer, I’ve seen the harm in it. Many hear their mother’s voice in their head over and over and over again about how they just want them to be happy or how they just need to flirt a little more or how they just need to put themselves out there and meet new guys.

It nurtures feelings of inadequacy and takes a healthy desire for a spouse and turns it into an obsession.

Before I am mistaken for vilifying the beloved mothers of America, let me just say that I don’t think it comes from a bad place. Their mothers found fulfillment in marriage and family, and they just wanted the same for their daughters.

The same thing is true of well-meaning friends, too. I’m not talking about the ones who want to help a sister out occasionally and share our name, age, top 5 character traits, email address, phone number, and church affiliation with the husband’s single childhood friend. We will rarely have a problem with that.

I am, however, talking about the ones who are constantly trying to diagnose why we’re still single as if it has everything to do with our character flaws and nothing to do with God’s will. And while I could go on about the good intentions of the Free World, sadly, I have to look at the plank in my own eye.

How many couples have I asked about having children and then silently wondered what the hold up was when they told me that they had been married for 10 years but no kids yet.

Isn’t my silent judgment just as bad as any vocal, well-meaning pressure that is given from another?

It sounds really good—that whole fulfillment in marriage and family thing—except that our fulfillment doesn’t come from a husband or a child. It comes through Christ. And no matter how much I, the mothers of America, or my friends betray this, our relationship status isn’t as important as our relationship with Him.

Jessica Bufkin recently left her glamorous career as a junior high English teacher for the greener pastures of the blogging world. She is a part of the team of writers at SingleRoots, a site that encourages singles to be intentional with their lives. And, since dating is important, too, they also offer some assistance with a review of the Best Christian Dating Sites. Jessica lives in Fort Worth, Texas where a lot of men really do wear cowboy hats and boots daily. Sadly, that does nothing for her. You can follow her on Twitter @singleroots.

Page 2 of 124«12345»102030...Last »