When Life Isn’t How You Thought It Would Be
(Warning: some TMI body stuff here)
Hello again ♥️ Now that it is well and truly summer, I am beginning a new series, Spiritual Summer Sundays. This is a devotional by me, (THE Devotional Diva) Maggie Winterton. If you’d like to share your story here, email me: email@example.com
I have to say my life is not the way I would’ve pictured it would be at age 31. Perhaps that’s not the most elegant way to state it, but there it is. I never, ever in 1 million years thought that I would have virtually everything I ever wanted, but be crippled by chronic daily pain that interferes with my life so severely.
It hurts me to even write this.
I have the husband, the kids, the house, etc. My life should feel perfect. And it does, I guess, but I’m not able to fully enjoy it.
Only until recently have I begun to recognize and let myself come to terms with the fact that my emergency gallbladder removal surgery (which was life-saving) crippled me in what is probably the prime of my life.
My GI doctor recently told me: “yeah, I know, it sucks. You would have died if you kept the gallbladder…but unfortunately you’re one of the unlucky ones that still has pain without it.”
I have a build up of scar tissue inflaming my abdomen. Nerve pain. Muscle pain. Intestinal pain and trapped bowels. And now it’s affecting my bladder as well.
The long and short of this latest medical issue for me, is that my bladder is not functioning quite right and one day, I became completely unable to pee. After a while, I started to be in incredible pain, and I knew that I needed to go to the ER and the only thing that would help me was a catheter to drain the fluid from my bladder. After hours of the doctors trying to even get a catheter inside, they drained 1.5 L of fluid from my body.
I’m undergoing treatments for all this, including counseling, and I have good days and bad. I don’t expect to recover completely, but I’m hopeful for that my continued efforts such as injections and physical therapy will pay off. I don’t want you to feel pity for me. I really, really don’t. I don’t want attention. That’s not why I am writing this.
I just…want to be honest.
I want my readers to understand what The Devotional Diva is dealing with, and hope that you’ll give me some patience and grace (and you already have!)
And, with almost everything I write, I hope this devotional inspires or comforts you today. Sharing our stories is the BEST way to connect with each other.
I’m finally being honest with myself that I am not a normal 31-year-old. I can’t compare myself to most other young wives and moms. I’m running my own race here. I didn’t design this race. It is a lot more difficult terrain than I would have planned for.
The only One who does is the One who has all the plans.
1Therefore, we also, who have all of these witnesses who surround us like clouds, let us throw off from us all the weights of the sin which is always ready for us, and let us run with patience this race that is set for us. 2And let us gaze at Yeshua, him who is The Author and The Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was his, endured the cross and ignored the shame, and he sits upon the right side of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1(Peshitta Holy Bible)
I hope this resonates with you today ♥️