[Guest Post by Shelley Hendrix] – Confrontation is necessary, it is vital that we first take the time needed to examine our own hearts and motives.
The importance of this cannot be overstayed, so please take the time to do this thoroughly by answering these questions:
1. What is my motive in confronting this other person or group? If your answer reveals a desire for revenge, to put the other person in his or her place, or something of that flavor, please wait until your emotions have calmed down enough to handle the confrontation with respect for the other person.
2. Am I ready to accept that the other person may not respond the way I would prefer? Take the time to release your expectations and desires to your heavenly Father. Going into the confrontation with an agenda can put both you and the other person on the defensive if things don’t go your way.
3. Is this safe? Not to be melodramatic, but the truth is that some confrontations are unwise because the emotions involved can escalate, putting one or both people at risk for harm–either verbally or physically. If it isn’t safe don’t confront (or don’t go alone). Common sense applies here.
4. What do I hope to gain? If you recognize that the importance is that your voice be heard, and not that the other person respond in the way you desire, than you are probably ready to confront.
Remember: The truth may be painful, but it should never be hurtful. Check your motives, investigate your desires, evaluate your safety, and acknowledge your hopes before heading into a confrontation with another person. I believe these steps will help you get through your thoughts together for a respectful confrontation with just about anyone (Just about!)
Excerpt from Why Can’t We Just Get Along (Copyright, Harvest House 2013). To win a copy please leave a comment below.
Shelley Hendrix helps women live with purpose…without the pressure! She is a wife, mother, Bible teacher, speaker, author, and television talk show host. Her book Why Can’t We Just Get Along released with Harvest House this month. She founded Church 4 Chicks, a dynamic ministry that brings together women of all ages and all walks of life. She and her husband, Stephen, have three children (whom God uses to teach them much!) and live in Atlanta, Georgia.
[Photo: Patty Maher, Creative Commons]