I Survived My 20s – Christian Woman
[Guest Post by Nicole Unice] – At 25, I was the stereotypical Christian woman. I was what most every Christian woman on the internet seems to want out of her life.
I was in ministry.
I was married.
And I was pregnant.
I had it all–every single thing that any good girl would want.
But it wasn’t what I wanted.
I was more of a ladder climber than a baby holder. I was more office, less kitchen. And because of that, young womanhood and young motherhood became a lesson in survival, a series of days and weeks and months where I fought a deep sense that I should be grateful to have “arrived,” and not feeling grateful at all.
I mostly just felt exhausted.
There were things I loved about being in ministry, being a wife and being a mother.
But it wasn’t the career, the calling, the life that I wanted. And that longing for something–something better, something different, something more–was making me crazy.
I learned in my twenties that “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12).
Especially when that hope is in the wrong things. Because I learned that even when you have it “all” you still have nothing without a deep, abiding place of worth. I learned that as young adult women, most of us still believe that the next “thing” will be the place we find our worth.
And if you are like me, you learn the hard way.
You learn through unanswered prayers and unmet desires and deep insecurity.
You learn through the longings in your soul to be known and loved and worthy.
And you learn in your twenties that there is nothing, not one thing or person or job or position or ministry or relationship or accolade, that can satisfy outside of Jesus.
My unanswered prayers for different circumstances turned out to be a good thing–because different circumstances would have only distracted me from Jesus.
My unmet desires turned out to be a good thing–because my desires weren’t for anything that would deeply satisfy. My insecurity at not being enough turned out to be a good thing–because it made me seek the only one who can make me good enough, can make me live with hope and joy and love even when life isn’t what I expected.
So, for those of you who are finding that your twenties are full of “hope deferred,” I want to reach out and square your shoulders and look you into the eyes and tell you with all of my heart: seek hope in eternal things.
Seek hope in Jesus not in the stereotype of a Christian woman.
Let every longing and desire and insecurity bring you back to him. Pour out your heart to him, in your journal or in the car or on a long run. Read back His words to Him, and let him comfort you with his love.
And then expect a change as you begin to “overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).
I survived my twenties by discovering true worth in the Only One who’s worth it.
Nicole Unice is an author and bible teacher who loves the many twenty-something women who surround her in ministry and in life. She released “She’s Got Issues”, the book and DVD experience, this summer. Find out more at www.nicoleunice.com or www.ShesGotIssuesBook.com.