The Gray Areas of Dating

Photo: Sandra Scherer, Creative Commons

What are the gray areas of dating?

It’s been fun talking about dating and relationships. So far a host of guest posters including myself and my husband have addressed topics including:

+10 Tips Surviving Singleness – Renee Fisher (11/26)
+On Dating: You Don’t Need A Boyfriend To Make You Happy – Julie Caulder (11/29)
+On Dating: You Complete Me – Casey Tygrett (12/2)
+To Date Or Not To Date – Rebekah Snyder (12/4)
+On Dating: Should Men Pursue Women First – Marc Fisher (12/6)
+Dating Made Me Throw Up In My Mouth A Little – Renee Fisher (12/10)
+The Secret To Dating – Hannah Stovall (12/11)
+5 Tips How To Get A Second Date – Tracy Le (12/12)
+On Dating: God Told Me To Break Up With You – Allison Vesterfelt (12/13)
+On Dating: Flirting With Disaster – Rayni Peavy (12/14)
+On Dating: I Said No – Renee Fisher (12/17)
+Don’t Be Afraid To Date – Krista Back (12/18)

While this is a great list–I can’t help but wonder if we’re just barely scratching the surface on dating.

There’s much more to relationships including the deeper issues that I feel we need to address.

Questions that need asking.

Voices that need to be heard.

Also, I wasn’t anticipating on sharing a story that I had kept hidden for more than six years. The story where I said no and he kept going.

I never anticipated sharing it publicly until I had fully healed. While I realize that day came for me this Monday (read my story here)–I recognize some aren’t ready to share yet.

Maybe because the scars are still visible.
Maybe it’s because you haven’t yet forgiven the person who hurt you.
Maybe it’s because you haven’t forgiven yourself.

My mentor, Marcia Ramsland, so graciously encouraged me with these words after I hit “publish” on Monday. She said,

“This was a very brave post to write! When I healed from a painful past experience, I asked God to help me forget until someone needed me to remember. God wanted you to remember today to help someone. Who will it be?”

That is why I wanted to take a short breather and let you know that I am here if you need to talk.

If you have more questions than answers.
If you don’t know how to help process your painful past.
Or maybe you’re afraid of the future.

It’s okay to talk about the fears on dating–but I want us to go deeper. I want life change. I want breakthrough.

I want to see women with renewed confidence in Christ and their worth.

I want to see men respected and respect themselves.

Starting in February, the #DatingDosandDonts will cover more of what I’d like to call the gray areas of dating including:

+On Dating: My Parents Don’t Approve – Wendy van Eyck (2/11)
+On Dating: Should We Talk About Sex? – Lisa Velthouse (2/12)
+On Dating: Let Him Be A Gentleman – Bethany Jett (2/13)
+On Dating: We’re Moving In Together – Arleen Spenceley (2/14)
+10 Tips Online Dating – Julie Anne Wilson (2/15)

I recognize these are posts on dating that don’t get covered as much in the church as they do outside. That’s why I’ve asked personally asked a few others to contribute. It is my hope that you won’t get so overwhelmed, depressed, or lose hope in relationships over the holidays.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–singles need love this holiday season.