I'm NOT Pregnant

I’m not pregnant.

Now that I have your attention, I want to tell you a story.

I am no Martin Luther King, but I had a dream that I was pregnant in a warehouse full of women about to give birth. We were all expectantly waiting on God’s promises.

The very next day at work (this was back in 2005), a lady came in for a job interview. She walked into the room where I was the office receptionist and asked me,

“Are you pregnant?”

At first I was shocked. Then horrified.

I said “No!” and she quickly apologized, but said she sensed something in the Spirit. Mind you, I wasn’t working at a Christian work place at that time–so that was a huge confirmation of my dream the night before.

Funny Story, about 9 months later the same lady told me God showed her the meaning of my dream. She said,

God is trying to birth a ministry through me, if I would just let him–and not to say that my future husband isn’t important.”

I have to say. I was pretty upset when she told me this.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY FUTURE HUSBAND ISN’T IMPORTANT?

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I prayed and asked God for a husband daily since I was 15. I felt bitter. Like God had personally offended me.

All I ever wanted was to get married, go into ministry, and serve alongside my husband.

When I published my first book, I realized that I couldn’t serve two masters. I finally got it.

I quit my job to pursue ministry full time and to continue writing. There is absolutely no way I would have been able to write “Faithbook of Jesus” and “Not Another Dating Book” as a married woman.

There were things in my soul I needed to wrestle with.

Anguish has a way of changing your heart.

God softened me and used my time as a single person to bless me with a writing ministry–of which I am most grateful for.

Even though I couldn’t see it at the time, God put a wall of protection around me, my heart, and desires.

Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield (Psalm 5:12, 33:20).

To the single woman who feels neglected by God, you are not alone.

To the (actual) pregnant woman who is waiting to give birth.

Do not abandon your dreams.

Do not give up your desires.

You may have forgotten, but God won’t!

But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” 

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me” (Isaiah 49:14-16).

Watch the Video Log for “I’m Not Pregnant” below:

11 comments on “I'm NOT Pregnant”

  1. Nathan says:

    love this, Renee. I think for the first time in my life, I am doing that. I am taking on what the Lord has given me. I am not waiting for the perfect woman, I am taking on the ministry he has given me.

  2. Jason says:

    I love your heart for encouraging others going through the hard road you walked.

  3. renee says:

    AWESOME Nathan! You go!

    Thanks Jason.

  4. Jenny says:

    Watching my sister go through the pregnancy/ birthing process over a year ago I started using pregnancy as this metaphor for my call to ministry- that I know something is growing inside me but i have little idea when it will come into fruition and what it will look like. I love this post, such an affirmation for me. Thank you!

  5. Sarah says:

    “Do not abandon your dreams.

    Do not give up your desires.”

    I SO needed someone to say this to me today. Thank you.

  6. @Jenny – I love affirmations. They are the best. Still praying for you!

    @Sarah – YAY! You’re welcome.

  7. Abby says:

    thanks for the encouraging post!

  8. ed cyzewski says:

    Beautiful thoughts Renee. God appears to be wasteful, but he doesn’t waste anything in us. Some days I can see that clearly, but other days it takes faith to believe he’s doing… something. Thanks for sharing what God is doing in you.

  9. renee says:

    Thanks Ed. Always appreciate your encouragement 🙂

  10. rachelle says:

    Renee,

    thanks for sharing this! this is such an encouraging post to read & a reminder of the unique ways the Lord teaches/reminds us of what we’re created to do.

  11. Rachelle – you’re welcome! Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂

Comments are closed.