I Love My Body – Baby Bump
[Guest Post by Kimberly Davidson Campbell] – Weight gain and the numbers on the scale have always been a troublesome spot for my mind and heart.
From the time I was in 3rd grade I remember disliking the school pictures for the year book. I always criticized them and stared at them wondering if there was anything beautiful I could find in them.
I recently finished a 39+ week maternity photo shoot.
I sat at our dining room table and started glancing through them, then sobbed uncontrollably and buried my head in my husband’s side. I hated all of them.
Why?
No, my hair was great and makeup looked good and I had a sweet photographer who is a dear friend.
I hated them because I could only focus on the fact that I weighed so much and looked horrible–baby bump or not.
You can definitely ask my husband and he would tell you that the biggest struggle for me during this pregnancy was the weight gain.
And you know what?
I am supposed to gain weight.
But, after a while I stopped eating sensibly and just ate what I wanted to because I had an “out”.
I had an excuse.
I could eat however I wanted.
But, that is where it became less about providing a healthy environment for my unborn son to grow in and more about me and my obsession with food. I was no longer eating what I needed and the baby needed, I was eating for 3 or 4. And I didn’t think I cared until I looked at those pictures–with disgust.
This morning as I sobbed my husband just let me cry.
He then asked me how I could focus on the gospel in a moment like this. What would I tell friends and how could I talk to myself, preach to myself in this matter?
I said this–because I’ve said it before:
“My worth in this life is not based on what the scale says or what size dress I wear, but it is in the hope of the Gospel of Christ. That doesn’t excuse my sin because that is cheap grace, and grace is costly, it cost Jesus His life.”
My standing with Christ is not based on anything I do.
My standing in this life with fashion and style blogs, sizes and shopping don’t matter in the long run. They don’t! Now, I can tell myself this but believing it is another matter. Acting on it is another matter altogether, as well.
But, my Jesus is sufficient.
So, do I keep eating for 4 or make losing this baby weight an idol to get back into my pre-maternity clothes?
No.
That would be making a mockery of the gospel and the cross of Christ and relying on my works to save me. But, I do eat properly for the stage of life/post-pregnancy I am in and take care of my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)
So, my goals: yes, to lose weight. I want to be healthy for my baby boy.
But, I want to lose weight and get back in my pre-wedding clothes in a way that would be glorifying to Christ and the gospel.
I can choose to focus on a healthy lifestyle and listening to my husband that the wispy girls that grace the covers of the fashion magazines are not his type–and I am.
He just wants me to be healthy.
Mark Driscoll in a recent marriage video: he said,
“Your spouse is your standard of beauty.”
God wants my body healthy to serve Him in the power that He supplies.
Kimberly Davidson Campbell is a wife, mother, freelance writer and photographer who resides in Little Rock, AR with her family. She graduated from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary with a Masters of Divinity in Education. Her passions include life-on-life discipleship, speaking, teaching, writing, cooking, being healthy, and photography – and mostly spending time with her husband and son! She blogs regularly at http://kd316.com.
