Tag Archive - Love

What’s Your Story – Jenn

May 13, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, Dating & Relationships with 0 Comments

Jenn is my first best friend.

Jenn and I met at North Coast Church’s college group and became best friends. It’s funny how God uses certain people to remind us who we are, and who bring out the best. Jenn is that person to me. I felt bad that I couldn’t be there for her when her story started.

Jenn became a single mom. She went through much criticism by her family, peers, the church—and worst of all herself. As a result of her choices she had a lot of questions to answer. My first question to Jenn was a heavy one, one that I’ve wrestled with myself. Why do you think Christians suffer?” I asked.

She said, “I believe Christians suffer for two reasons: one because of their poor choices, and two because we’re in the world. Sometimes we do get caught in the backwash of other people’s choices. Whether it is the person that ran the red light and hit your car—it wasn’t that you were doing anything wrong, but you were caught in the backwash.”

“How have you suffered?” I asked.

Jenn said, “Physically, I’ve suffered with my knee. Emotionally, with broken relationships because of choices I’ve made. Some of those have caused a little more psychological suffering and how I view the world. I don’t think anyone can escape those. Mine has been, you know, the life and death kind of suffering. When I was in Jr. High I was almost suicidal. That goes back to the emotional and psychological suffering, but even though I really see that as my lowest point emotionally I was able to be at the very bottom and look up at God and say, ‘I can’t take anymore, you gotta start changing this. If I’m at this point where I feel like this is the only option, you gotta start bringing me up.’

 “How did you react when you found out you were pregnant?”

Jenn said, “…I cried and I cried and I cried. I cried because my hopes and dreams of going to my dream college were shattered. I cried because I embarrassed and ashamed my family. I cried because it meant the whole world was going to see what my sins were and that I wasn’t the good little Christian girl I had portrayed I was.

At first I think everyone was shocked, but God has surrounded me with such amazing friends–they think I was going to beat myself up a lot more than any words they could say and they wrapped their arms around me and then encouraged me. I don’t think I could have made it through emotionally sound without the support of my family and friends. For the first two months, I just prayed that God would let me have a miscarriage. How mean is that? It was just a word to me. Finding out on the pregnancy test was just a word: pregnant. It told me my life was flipped upside down and I wanted it go to away. I wanted to sweep everything under the rug. I wanted to hide.”

“How has your view of pro life changed since giving birth?” I asked.

Jenn said, “I am still gung-ho for pro life. I’m a single mom. There are opportunities out there for you to make it, and even if you feel like you cannot physically, financially handle it -there’s adoption. I’m still pro life, and now that doesn’t mean that Satan didn’t tempt me when I first found out I was pregnant. That was the first way he tempted me—just to end it. None of my friends told me about abortion. I didn’t need them to. Satan was already there trying to plant seeds to the point where I looked it up, where I could get it done, how much it would cost, and what the side effects were. What God kept telling me in my head and in my heart was that two wrong’s don’t make a right. I learned that by my parents reciting it to me over and over again. Yes, I sinned and got pregnant, but having an abortion would not make it right.

I asked Jenn in light of her story, “Do you feel you made the right decision to keep your daughter, Elizabeth Evangeline?”

“Oh 100%. God has allowed me to see a different side of Him that I would have never seen without Lizzie in my life. I’ve known the Father God. I have known the pursuer God. I have not known the parent God until I had a child. When Lizzie put her tooth through her lip, I could see the relationship between God and I. I may slip and fall, but God is standing right next to me. He sees it everything. We live in a broken world. We still get hurt. It broke my heart to see my little girl cry so much it ripped me a part. And I can only imagine how God feels. What we go through—how much more does God break for us? Dealing with Lizzie and letting her be her own person and I have to let Lizzie be herself. There are also the non negotiables, you know-the 10 Commandments. I don’t always listen but those are the one He insisted on. He gives me enough freedom and free will to be me.”

I, Renee, remember watching Jenn go through isolation all the way in North Carolina. My heart broke. I couldn’t there for my best friend. She now had a child to take care of, and support. In the midst of all of that it was like I got to witness the most beautiful thing. Jenn transformed into a beautiful butterfly. The one I knew was always inside her. North Carolina was her cocoon and the more time she spent with God, all the suffering, brokenness, guilt, and shame was removed. She was even more beautiful to me.

To listen to Jenn’s story please click here or watch the video below.

What’s Your Story – Ashley

May 9, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, Dating & Relationships, The Church with 2 Comments

[Guest Post] I always had a close relationship with God, and felt I could always lean on Him.

In high school, I got a job at a leather store in the mall. I was a trainer on the football team and fell head over heels for popular guy on the team. I had my whole life planned out. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and be an active part of a church.

I knew I wanted to save myself for marriage, but I started to drift from God. He wasn’t into going to church or praying. I ended up dating him and we had a child born out of wedlock. We were engaged for about three years.

I wanted to join a church that I had been visiting, so I went down to the altar and spoke with a deacon. A few days later, I got a call from the membership Pastor at the church. He invited us into his office for a meeting. He advised that the church wouldn’t allow me to become a member unless we were married. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

I didn’t go back to church for almost 2 months when I finally talked him into getting married so I could be a part of that church.  

We got married, and things were already headed down hill. I had been a stay at home mom and recently had a got a part time job at a local retail store. He had started gambling and taking pain pills on top of his marijuana addiction. His six figure income supported his habits. The days continued to get worse.

He would come home late at night drunk and had been spending time after work at bars and strip clubs. I became depressed. I felt ugly on the inside and the outside.

Why wasn’t I beautiful anymore?  

Why didn’t he want to spend time with me?  

One night in our kitchen, I prayed over him as he was trying to crush a pill to snort. He was so angry that I put my hand over a line of pills that he had crushed, then he put me in a headlock that took me to the floor. I pleaded for him to let me go…He snorted the pill in front of me off the kitchen counter.

I was devastated.  

He took off to the bedroom and said he was leaving. I begged him to stay and talk.

He pulled out a gun and put it to my head and pushed me to the floor.

He yelled some profanities and took off out the door. I opened the door and yelled that I was calling the police. He came back up the steps with the gun and told me he was going to kill me. I kept locking the door as he was unlocking with his key. I prayed for God to please let me survive. I made it, and so did my son. It was a miracle that he slept through all the commotion.

I didn’t leave the marriage.

I thought I was doing the right thing. He would tell me that I had broken my vows because I was trying to leave him while he was sick (drugs were making him sick), and that I had promised to love him in sickness and in health.

At this point, I had taken on a job with a good company and could support myself and my son. My brother was very close to me, and he had been staying the night with us a lot and he could keep the arguments down at the house. I never told him about what he had done to me, but he knew something was up.

A few months after the gun incident, we took my son to a baseball game and came home to find my brother had passed away in his sleep on my couch.  

My three year old son and I had found him. This was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me.

I wanted to know where God was and why was He letting this happen to me?

I tried counseling and buying books on how to save your marriage. It was the end.

He didn’t want to be a part of our lives.  

Drugs was his life.  

I had been reading in Job and all the trials he experienced. This is where I gained my strength and renewed my trust in the Lord. I attended Celebrate Recovery at my church, where I learned how to deal with my codependent nature. God had given me little signs in the form of hearts, that made me realize that He was beside me each step of the way.

I decided I needed to divorce.

My son and I had moved in with my parents. I reconnected with my boss from the leather store, and we began dating. We both were single parents with ex spouses who didn’t seem to care about anyone but themselves. We both had a strong Christian background. He proposed to me last year and we ended up marrying a few months later. May 14th is our one year anniversary!!

I can say that I am thankful for the trials that I went through to make it where I am today.

I have a wonderful, loving husband that prays with me and keeps me positive. He is a great father figure to my son. He works hard every day to provide for all of us. I stayed true to God during all my sufferings, and He comforted me. He blessed me with the greatest husband ever. I cannot wait to bow at His feet and thank Him for the many blessings He has bestowed upon me.  My best advice is to keep holding onto your faith when everything else is falling apart.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

Ashley is a 28 year old mom of an 8 year old, and a step mom to a 15 year old. I enjoy Bible study and love spending an immense amount of time with my husband and kids. Over the past year, I have learned a lot about marriage. I now understand why it is important to be married to someone with the same beliefs. It is also an amazing feeling when you spouse prays for you. Connect with Ashleigh on Twitter.

What’s Your Story – Brittany

May 7, 2012 in Daily Devotionals, Dating & Relationships with 0 Comments

I want to introduce to Brittany Erbaugh. She was my first roommate ever!

We met in San Antonio, TX because of a nine-month discipleship-training program, “Ambassador For Christ.” She was my roommate and classmate. Because of her influence, she made me watch all three of Lord of the Rings movies. And to get her back, I hooked her on the CBS show, “Survivor (she still watches it). And, one thing we did agree on was Blue Bell Ice Cream, Chick fil A, and ABC’s Lost. But, enough about our relationship!

Brittany is all too familiar with her spiritual battle and mine. I left Texas before I had the chance to find out her side of the story because five months into the program, my body broke (again). My eczema took the skin off my hands. I tried to tough it out, seek medical help, but to no avail. I was forced to move home. I had fled to Texas to find myself. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship wasn’t ready to feel like a failure all over again. I never got the chance to say a proper goodbye to Brittany, therefore I feel it is only fitting to share her side of the story.

I asked Brittany, “How does the battle affect the way you live your life?” I asked.

Brittany said, “I have dreams where I have experienced demonic activity, but it’s the little lies that are easy to give into. The attack starts in your mind first. Not obvious things, but believing into the lies. When you’re not spending time with the Lord, you start to feel the guilt. That’s not who we are in Christ. Christ has interceded for us. It says in Romans 8:1, that ‘there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life sets me free from the law of sin and death.’ We don’t belong to the guilt and the shame. [We tell Satan] ‘No, I am a child of God. Move on.’ Christ doesn’t hang things over our heads like that.”

Next I asked, “Do you live any differently or continue on as before?”

Brittany said, “Our culture is so masked over by materialism that we’ve become a lot less of the religious nation. It’s more about our culture. Places like Africa and India have religion a part of their day-to-day life. They’re more exposed to Demonic possession unlike Americans because we’re so masked by our culture. What has changed me [Brittany] is living a life rooted in Scripture first, and understanding my position as a child of God. This means I’m a daughter of the King, and walking in that identity because there’s an authority there. A place of sonship, of adoption in the Spirit. The darkness doesn’t have power over because I am a daughter of the king, and he [God] has already overcome and he’s alive. Jesus is not on the cross anymore. He’s alive. Because of that I can walk as a new creation. I am the light of the world and salt of the earth. I’m new in him. I have him as my authority and power that darkness cannot overcome me.”

I asked, “How do you encounter fear in every day life?”

“It’s a constant battle.” Brittany said. “The battle starts in the mind, and if we can end it in the mind we have the power and authority to take it captive to the obedience of Christ. Christ conquered. In our surrender to him we are able to conquer whether you’re single or married. Now that I’m married it’s trusting God more than my husband. Or if my husband and I want to have kids its trusting God to provide more when we have kids.”

I asked Brittany, “When you encounter a battle do you run or cower in fear or ____?”

“It’s usually 50/50. One or the other, but by not pursuing God I respond by complacency and staying in the middle. Everyone has a process of how they respond.”

“Do you feel welcome in this spiritual battle?” Before you listen to Brittany’s response, I wanted to show our Biblical response to the spiritual battle.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

To listen to Brittany’s story please click here or watch the video below.

Book Giveaway: The Ten Best Decisions A Graduate Can Make

April 25, 2012 in On Writing with 13 Comments

I LOVE Bill and Pam Farrel for more than a few reasons:

1. They’ve faithfully served in all facets of ministry including pastors, authors, speakers, and counselors, for Y-E-A-R-S.

2. They champion younger leaders like myself.

3. They share practical and insightful wisdom for all phases of life.

Without realizing it, you’ve probably read one of their 50+ published books including Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti–their most popular and best-selling book.

Today, I am giving away three copies of their latest book, The 10 Best Decisions A Graduate Can Make.

It’s pocket-sized so you can take it with you to college! Read it when you feel stressed with:

+Discerning job and career opportunities

+Finding ministry and mission that fit a graduate’s personality

+Developing healthy relationships with friends and mentors

+Locating a positive fit for church, parachurch, and social community

+Building on a graduate’s strengths, gifts, and skills

+Biblical insights and life examples offer spiritual encouragement and practical guidance for those beginning a career and leaving the student life behind.

Interview with Pam

You and your husband Bill have written a series on the 10 Best Decisions. What made you decide to write one for the graduate?

Pam’s response: Our kids helped write this book. In one year our youngest graduated high school, our middle son from college and our oldest and his wife from graduate school—so we knew they had much to say to grads! We [also] have a 10 Best Decisions series (for singes, couples, parents, women, men—so 10 Best Decisions  for Grads just seemed logical.

Why is it important to finish what you started?

Pam’s response: If a grad will apply themselves in college and graduate school and make it their goal to be excellent, and go above and beyond, people will recognize their diligence and not only do they stand out, but they will get hired first!

What sort of advice would you give to the graduate who’s pursuing their dreams truly for the first time?

Pam’s response: Hold onto God. Life is such a rush of excitement if you give God a chance to lead and guide you! Give God your first 10 minutes each day. Each day look for God’s “post-card” of goodness to you, and His whisper of “say this” or “do that”—your life will never be boring if you take God up on his offer in Jer 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and mighty things that you do not know!”

Enter to win one of three copies by leaving a comment on this blog or you can purchase a copy on Amazon.

6 Month Wedding Anniversary

April 16, 2012 in Dating & Relationships with 7 Comments

I have learned much from Marc in the first six months since our wedding.

Because I love celebrating both small and large milestones–here are six lessons learned from the first six months (Oct. 15-Apr. 15)!

1. Insecurities Magnified. When I was saangle (really single) I thought it was my fault. I’m so glad for those years now that God spent teaching me how to replace the lies with truth because now that I’m married, my insecurities are only magnified.

2. Serving/Submitting to Marc is my joy. At first, I was so excited and grateful to serve Marc because God answered my 12-year-10-month-24-day-prayer. I now believe it’s because of prayer, God’s help, and understanding–that my husband is my most important ministry. I cherish the opportunity to serve him.

3. God has blessed me for being Marc’s wife. I gladly accept my new role. I have seen God actually bless me more for doing less because I put God first, my husband, and then everyone else–it’s wild!

4. My devotional times have changed. I used to spend time with God at the first and last part of my day. Now, I spend that time with my husband. Through the process of rearranging my time with Him–God has spoken to me in new and fresh ways.

5. Two becoming one. I used to read many books, including one I wrote about anticipating a marriage someday. All this goes out the window when you get married. Experience trumps knowledge. It’s way better and harder than I thought it would be!

6. God likes to show off. It’s not a coincidence that I married Marc before Not Another Dating Book, released. Every time I share my story I get to share how God did a miracle in my life through Marc. I think God likes it too!

To God be the glory.

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