Sink or Swim?

sink or swim

[Guest post by Sophia Reed: I hope you enjoy this inspiring story that shows no matter what, you can swim.]

When I was 23 years old, I found myself in a situation that was going to change my life forever: I was going to be a mom.

At 23 I was not doing bad for myself. I had a bachelor’s degree, my own place, and my own car; but I was far from being the ideal mother. My life up until that point consisted of living for myself, and although I considered myself a Christian, I was far from being Christlike, I still had a way to go in my walk with God. 

The father of my child was not supportive and his answer to my pregnancy was to have an abortion. Even though I was not a perfect Christian, abortion was not something I could imagine myself doing. This is when I made the decision to take responsibility for my actions, and go at the whole parenting thing alone. 

I would love to tell you that my life turned into complete perfection after deciding to have my son. But it was far from. I went through my pregnancy alone and I was working at a correctional facility. I worked 12-16 hours shifts during that time.

My pregnancy was filled with more worry than anything, but I tried to remain hopeful and happy.

When you know you are doing the right thing, the only thing you can do is to trust that God has a plan for you. I can’t really say I trusted God completely. Life was getting so hard and pregnancy was not all “peaches and cream.” Plus, as the only one in my household, I had to work up until I had my son; My last day at work was 7/2/08 and I had my son the next day on 7/3/08.

During the next six weeks of being on maternity leave, things got even more hectic. I had a crying infant that I was responsible for all on my own. Four weeks after my son was born, his father became incarcerated for larceny, where he remains till this day. 

This was a “sink or swim” moment. I could play the victim and be down on myself, or I could pick myself up. I decided to swim.

Within the next three months, I found a babysitter and a new job. Over the course of six years things got even better.

It is true when they say that God knows you better than you know yourself. As I was sitting at my job one day, God put it on my heart to go back to school for counseling. I really didn’t know much about counseling, but I obeyed God and who would have thought that helping others was actually my gift. 

At 30 years old, I am a true story of how God transforms people. I went from being a 23 year old women who lived for herself, to a 30 year old single mother. Now my son goes to a Christian private school, I own my own home, I completed my Master’s degree, and am now working on my PhD.

I learned that what the devil means for bad, God meant for good.

As an African American single mother, statistically I am not supposed to be where I am today. But God had other plans for me, and because He did, I want to share Him with the world.

I wrote a book, Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart, that talks about me being a single mother and my relationships struggles.

I have come to learn not to be defined by what the world thinks of single mothers. Just because I am not married or had a child out of wedlock, it doesn’t meant that God loves me any less. It just means He has chosen to work in a bigger way through me to show others that everyone matters in His eyes.


sophia reed on devotional divaSophia Reed is a single mother of one. She has a master’s degree in Human Services specializing in marriage, couple, and family therapy/ counseling, and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Human Behavior. Sophia is a Christian, and enjoys meshing her Christian values with her education and experiences. Sophia’s blog is




photo credit: Hani Amir via photopin cc