The List

I don’t care if you’re single, in a relationship, or already married…if you’re breathing you’ve made “the list” of what you want in your partner. Taken from my book “Not Another Dating Book” that releases Valentine’s…

“When I was a kid I made a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a mate. I didn’t get much farther than tall, dark hair, blue eyes. When I got older, I added other words to the list. Leader. Communicator. Compassionate. Encouraging. I kept building it out, describing my perfect man. Wants children. Virgin. Well-read. Likes to cook. Doesn’t smoke. Doesn’t swear. Comes from a Christian family. Good hygiene. Pays his bills on time. Has a heart for ministry. None of those qualities are bad, of course, but over time I started to understand that by holding every man to my impossibly high standard, I was putting God into a box…”

Yesterday, I got to officially name my Fan Page for “Not Another Dating Book” on Facebook and it hit me. When I was writing the portion in my book about “The Boyfriend” I remember the feeling that God was showing me if I don’t obey and make a new list, He’ll withdraw His Holy Spirit from me and I won’t have anymore words on how to write my book. So I sat down on my floor with a bunch of post it notes and began writing furiously! I’m so glad I listened because I met my boyfriend a few weeks later. I’ve heard miracle stories before, but never me. I’ve been single pretty much my whole life. That’s why I wrote the book. I’ve been single for so stinking long I wanted to write an accurate depiction of what real Christian 20-somethings go through. No more of this “kissing dating goodbye.” Heck, all of my friends–including myself kissed dating goodbye years ago and now what? I wanted to share my list and be completely transparent. I only make one requirement: PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH! It’s quite long, it has categories and some may sound utterly ridiculous to you. But this is me! If you want to share yours or write one and email it to me please do! Renee’s List Relationships/Friendships 1. My best friend 2. Tenderness 3. Independent 4. Non-emotional 5. Not a drain/co-dependent 6. Calming 7. Non-smoker/Social Drinker 8. Good with large groups of people 9. Christian parents 10. Likes to cuddle 11. Communication 12. Not easily pushed around, but can be playful with me 13. Needs or appreciates alone time 14. Wants a family someday 15. Understands I process by isolating or hiding myself, and doesn’t let me stay angry Looks/Physical 16. Photogenic 17. Calf muscles 18. Whether tall or shorter than me-> He. Must. Be. Strong. 19. Clean shaven/short hair 20. Dark brown hair/light eyes 21. Healthy 22. Physical touch is his love language 23. Hugger 24. Big arms 25. Strong jaw bone (don’t laugh) 26. Nice hair 27. Virgin Church/Ministry 28. Shepherding 29. Ministry Partner 30. Called 31. Spiritual leader 32. Holy Spirit led 33. Daily Quiet time 34. Community is important 35. Loves God/others 36. Suffered 37. Conflict doesn’t bother him 38. Not intimidated by me (very important) 39. Teacher 40. Speaker 41. Prays with me 42. Anointed Hobbies/Free Time 43. Well read 44. Enjoys social media/media/tv/internet/movies (doesn’t have to like them all) 45. Likes going fast in cars (hehe this is very important to me) 46. Needs guy time 47. Acts of service is a love language 48. Takes time out to spend intimate time with me 49. Doesn’t have to do everything with or for me! 50. Prayer warrior Finances/Money 51. Provider 52. Pays bills on time 53. Responsible with debt/money 54. Saves for the future 55. Values money Work/Career 56. Leadership 57. Stable 58. Has goals 59. Hard worker 60. Doesn’t whine or complain 61. Drive 62. Does not need to be #1 63. Values work hard/play hard