Something New

I prayed so many years to find a husband. When I was single I used to wonder if God heard my prayers. I wanted to know when it was my turn to experience my taste of something old, something new, something borrowed, and something…red?

Now that I’m married I wonder what in the heck am I supposed to pray for?

I’m one of those people who worries about what’s next. The future.

A passage of Scripture that’s been kicking my butt lately is from Matthew 6. When I was single I used to hate Matthew 6:24. The one that says “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24, NLT).

I struggled with finding one singular purpose because I wanted to do it all.

Have it all.

Be it all.

When God humbled me, and showed me my pride–I knew right then, I wanted to be devoted to God and only God.

Let me tell you, it was so much easier to transition into marriage with that attitude.

Then came the next verse!

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing” (Matthew 6:25, NLT)?

I find myself worrying about the stupidest things now. Petty things. I’m a newlywed, so there’s not much to complain about. It’s not that marriage is hard, but I’m still learning how to adjust.

Last week, I wrote my about my personality flaw in The Bulldog Principle. If there’s one thing marriage has taught me, it’s that my work ethic still doesn’t have anything to do with my worth–or purpose.

Here’s a new thing (not really). I am fulfilled in God. Although I want to please my husband or my publisher or even myself–I have my limits.

So today, I choose to embrace the newness.

The quietness.

The rest.

“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it” (Isaiah 30:15, NLT).

Thank you, Lord, for borrowed confidence!


  • Abby

    Do you like David Crowder Band? You might like his new song “Oh Great God, Give Us Rest” off his new album. I listened to it this morning on my way to work and it was really good.

  • Morgan MacGavin

    Love this, girl! I think “rest” will be a recurring theme in all of our lives no matter what season we find ourselves. It’s just the society we live in. Busyness and worth found in something other than God are easy idols to slip into. I do it constantly. Exodus 14:14 is a verse that God continually has brought into my life at my most desperate moments to figure things out on my own. God will help you find the balance to this new chapter in your life as well as what that next step is. He wants you to be healthy in all aspects of it. In my devotional last night I read that God commonly doesn’t answer prayers immediately. That made sense to me. I feel like it’s in the stillness of the “after-prayer” when our heart is still in “I’m crying out to you” mode with our most vulnerable self. God will continue to hear you and guide you. 🙂

  • Morgan MacGavin

    It rocked me when I read it!! Really made me stop to think about HOW I’m praying. Am I praying expecting a quick fix? Perhaps a lightning bolt coming down that causes my entire life to make sense after the flash? Or am I praying for the work that is to come – confessing all that makes me feel so broken – with the acceptance that the answer may or may not come how I want it or when I want it?