My Heart is Torn
As I sit here writing this, I am literally tearing my hair out.
Every time I write a book my life seems to go through a major transition. First there was Faithbook of Jesus. When I was writing my first book I realized how much my heart couldn’t handle serving two masters. I made the extremely difficult decision to quit my dream job to move back with my parents and write full time.
Then there was Not Another Dating Book. It came as such a surprise. My second book had just been canceled the day I finished writing it. I wasn’t confident in my writing abilities or the direction of my life. When Harvest House decided to sign me, I was elated.
Then I met Marc and my world changed again. By the time the book released, I was married and healthy–not to mention happy.
I would be lying if I said it was easy to write for singles as a newlywed.
After Marc and I were married, I suddenly realized how unhealthy my life was. Not that I was living in sin, but it was all the little things that were affecting me.
The over eating.
The lack of exercise.
The wrong choice of friends.
It took the presence of my sweet husband to open my eyes to see God’s love in fresh and new ways, which is why I ultimately decided to write Loves Me Not. I wanted others to find healing from their heartbreak in God–not in food, not in manipulative relationships, not in (fill in the blank).
And yet, as I sit here pulling my hair out–I wasn’t expecting another transition to hit me so soon. My heart is torn.
Instantly after Loves Me Not released I had extreme anxiety. The kind I thought I was healing from. Over the past year I’ve been taking care of myself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I’ve made new friends, gone back to the gym, and lost 17 pounds.
So why anxiety now?
After taking some time off to spend with God and goof off with my husband this past weekend, I realized that just because I was making strides to become healthy didn’t mean that I can or should say “yes” to everything. My weekly responsibilities since getting married, starting a new job at the church, releasing a new book, launching a new conference, and now joining the Guild–it hit me! I’m serving two masters again.
No wonder why people are getting tired of what I have to say (well, maybe you aren’t, but I am)!
I’m so glad I recognized how stressful my life has become because I’m getting ready, once again, to make a new transition.
My next book, Forgiving Others Forgiving Me, releases this summer–and it’s my first book for a general audience. No longer am I writing for just 20-somethings or singles–no! I am writing for all ages and both sexes.
I am so excited!
So what does this mean for my day to day routine?
Starting next week, I have decided to scale back the number of posts from 4 times a week to 2 or 3. Plus, the topic of breakups, broken relationships, and forgiveness is much deeper. I don’t want to just gloss over it. I want to really not be afraid to face it and move forward in faith. If I can’t even lead the way, why would I expect you to read my book?
I hope you’ll grow with me as I find freedom in the journey from pain to purpose.
In my book, Loves Me Not, I write, “You never know when an incident—whether bad or good—is going to happen to change the entire course of your life. That’s why it’s important to stay in the Word and in prayer, so that you are able to stand firm against heartbreak when the trials come (Ephesians 6:13).”
I did a “heart” word search in the Bible and came up with a list of twenty-seven ways to heal from heartbreak. Since heartbreak is experienced by all–not just singles–I decided to make it available online for free instead of making you pay for the whole book! If you or anyone you know is currently experiencing a torn heart, I hope you will share this lis.
27 Ways to Heal from Heartbreak
1. Do you have a praying heart? ~ Genesis 24:45
2. Do you have a hardened heart? ~ Exodus 7:3, 9:35
3. Do you have a fiery heart? ~ Deuteronomy 5:4, 24
4. Do you have a judgmental heart? ~ 1 Samuel 16:7
5. Do you have a wise and understanding heart? ~ 1 Kings 3:12, Proverbs 2:10
6. Do you have a whole heart? ~ 1 Chronicles 28:9, 29:17
7. Do you have a faithful and undivided heart? ~ 2 Chronicles 15:17, 16:9b
8. Do you have a faint heart? ~ Job 23:16
9. Do you have a lustful heart? ~ Job 31:7, Matthew 5:28
10. Do you have an examined heart? ~ Psalm 17:3
11. Do you have a pure heart? ~ Psalm 24:4, 2 Timothy 2:22
12. Do you have a sad heart? ~ Psalm 42:5, 42:11, 43:5
13. Do you have a broken and repentant heart? ~ Psalm 51:17
14. Do you have a hidden heart? ~ Psalm 119:11
15. Do you have a guarded heart? ~ Proverbs 4:23, Philippians 4:7
16. Do you have a happy or heavy heart? ~ Proverbs 14:13, 30; 15:13
17. Do you have a captured heart? ~ Song of Solomon 4:9
18. Do you have a deceitful heart? ~ Jeremiah 17:9
19. Do you have a single heart? ~ Ezekiel 11:19
20. Do you have a new heart? ~ Ezekiel 36:26
21. Do you have a torn heart? ~ Joel 2:13
22. Do you have a treasured heart? ~ Matthew 6:21
23. Do you have a good or evil heart? ~ Matthew 12:35
24. Do you have an anxious heart? ~ Luke 21:34
25. Do you have a taken heart? ~ John 16:33
26. Do you have a holy heart? ~ 2 Corinthians 1:22
27. Do you have a thankful heart? ~ Colossians 3:16, 4:2
“After reading through this list, I hope you have a better understanding of what it looks like to have a whole heart—one that rests safely in the arms of Jesus. There should be no more doubts that a healed heart can happen. It is possible!
Maybe it takes time.
Maybe it takes lots of time.
The healing process is different for each person, and each relationship is different as well.” If you would like to continue reading more from my book, Loves Me Not, please download your copy for only $2.99 from Amazon or Smashwords.