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Singleness Is NOT A Disease
[Guest Post] American culture values independence. Somewhere between my twenty-fifth and twenty-seventh birthdays, my status as a single man in the church downgraded from laudable to questionable. People stopped celebrating my singleness as a gift affording me undivided focus on performing God’s will (see I Corinthians 7) and began seeing it as a problem. They also began analyzing why I had failed to solve it. The message was clear: My “malady” of being single was somehow my fault. It wasn’t anything I did. It was what I didn’t do enough of. I didn’t do enough to prove my independence. American men who cannot demonstrate enough independence begin to feel weak…
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Permission To Transition
Sometimes, you need to give yourself permission to transition. Why? Because no one else can do it for you. This past week has been the most amazing spiritual high ever and I feel I may never come down. It’s not an emotional high, but the benefits of walking obediently. Two weeks ago, I wrote a confession. That I was going to take the rest of the year off from traveling, speaking, and writing my next book. It’s so weird. Since then God has blessed me even more that I can hardly stand it! I can’t help but rejoice that the Lord reigns in my life–and I pray yours as well.…
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Start A Singles Ministry
Today, my post entitled Is Your Church A Safe Place For Singles went live on CATALYST blog. I talk about a favorite church, and how it encouraged me to lead regardless of my relationship status. Even though I am now married, I am encouraged myself as we try our new churches to find the right one for us. If you’re a pastor or a small group leader here is a great way to jump start or restart a 20’s ministry at you church. Here’s how… Singles need a home. Here’s how to start a singles ministry at your church. Create a welcoming environment. Young adults are in a state of…
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Friendship Quotes
Today my amazing husband Marc turns 29. If you recall, he wrote me a book on the 29 reasons why he loves Renee for my birthday in June. Since Marc is more of a private guy–I thought I’d return the favor by posting different 13 quotes on friendship. According to Timothy Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage, Chapter 4 explores friendship as the mission of marriage. I hope you enjoy and are encouraged by these friendship quotes. 1. Christian friends…are to honestly confess their own sins to each other (James 5:16). 2. Christian friends…are to lovingly point out their friend’s sin if he or she is blind to them (Romans…
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Your Relationship Status
[Guest post by Jessica Bufkin] – And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches. (1 Corinthians 7:17 MSG) People mean well. Really, they do. But honestly, sometimes the things that they say, despite their well-meaning intentions, remain lodged in our minds for a very long time. For instance, your relationship status. My parents have never once poked or prodded…
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I'm NOT Pregnant
I’m not pregnant. Now that I have your attention, I want to tell you a story. I am no Martin Luther King, but I had a dream that I was pregnant in a warehouse full of women about to give birth. We were all expectantly waiting on God’s promises. The very next day at work (this was back in 2005), a lady came in for a job interview. She walked into the room where I was the office receptionist and asked me, “Are you pregnant?” At first I was shocked. Then horrified. I said “No!” and she quickly apologized, but said she sensed something in the Spirit. Mind you, I…
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Single Appreciation Day
Happy Single Appreciation Day! Notice I didn’t say singles appreciation day. But single. Our culture is obsessed with relationships, and I know because I’m one of them! I used to HATE Valentine’s Day because I was single. Charles Ringma writes, “We are surrounded by family and friends who have enriched our lives in various ways. Much has been given to us. But we receive more when we are thankful for all that God and others have given us. It is thankfulness that builds in us the capacity for generosity. Unthankfulness robs us of the benefits of the very thing we have received…life” (Seize The Day With Dietrich Bonhoeffer). I love…
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Marc's Thoughts on Dating
My husband and I were discussing the release of my book. I happened to ask him what his thoughts were on dating. He said he’d have to think about it, and knowing my husband, I knew he’d come up with something deep. Here are Marc’s 5 Thoughts on Dating: “If you pressed me to provide thoughts on dating you might be surprised on how little I would have to say. Of course men do not think in the same ways women do about these matters. Most of us guys have not dreamed about marriage since we were young, constantly thought about our knightness in shining armor, or kept a notebook of…
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God's Calling
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”. C.S. Lewis I just love that quote. It reminds me in a very powerful way that God’s call on our lives is real. It’s tangible. Something we can taste, touch, feel, and see. And it’s not something so far out of our grasp that we’ll fail. Failure. Every time I tried to manage my schedule the past couple weeks–I’ve failed. I just wasn’t doing a good enough job. When my panic attacks came back, I felt like a big fat one–failure that is.…
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Daddy Issues
“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me” (John 15:15, NLT). “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father'” (Romans 8:15, NLT). Last week I posted 34 Pre Engagement Questions that Marc and I have been going through. I wanted to highlight truth I learned while using another tool “Family Matters.” It has questions like “List what you feel are the positive qualities of your father/mother”…
